Musings of a 6/2 Splenic Manifestor

The days seem to blend together, time has slowed yet still flies by at top speed. I've moved myself away from the hustle and bustle of southern California to the quiet, peaceful and slower paced life on Kauai to experiment with my design. Finally, the excitement of the new environment has passed and I settle into somewhat of a rhythm of a little bit of work and a lot of relaxation. My de-conditioning has begun. The most significant change I feel is in my emotions or lack of them. I have a fully open emotional center with no gates touching and I used to be a basket case. As I've separated myself from people, crawled up into my roof (I'm a 6/2 in my 2nd phase), my wave is almost non-existent. It feels so cold and heartless sometimes and I don't always like it. In my reading I learned as a Manifestor, I'm here to be a cold hard dense marble that can punch through a wall. It's difficult to imagine myself like that right now because I'm such an open emotional wus...

Does it mean I'm making progress if I'm pissing people off? It's a somewhat critical weekend for me being that it's fathers day and the majority of society including my family deems it necessary to celebrate and acknowledge this holiday. My family gets together and does something for every single holiday and of course I'm not feeling like I really want to go, not exactly sure how I'll feel tomorrow, but pretty sure I'm not going to want to go. This is my perfect opportunity to not let my open emotional center and the emotional blackmail of my family run my life. I could just say no. Or the proper Manifestor thing to do would be to inform them I'm not coming and why. I'm sick of being so proper all the time. But I feel like a total selfish butt head for not just sucking it up for the sake of my fathers feelings and just going to join them. My sister doesn't help any. when I told her I might not come she sighed and said something like, "it doe...

I can't say how true it is about the Open G and importance of place. I swear, my life made a complete 180 when I moved to my little den in Laguna. I truly found my place and a new chapter has begun. I found a relationship. I found GanoCafe business. I found a perfect little group of friends. I got rid of controlling friends who don't fulfill me. I found Human Design. A few weeks ago I was getting a little anxious because my unemployment ran out. (Side note, bless the government for my unemployment. That year was my greatest year of healing, I slept, I hiked, I meditated, I got good at just being. I don't care what anyone says, that money helped me become a healthier, happier person and a more powerful "manifestor" in society. My impact will be more positive and more powerful because of it.) Whenever my mind would start to get nervous about money, I would affirm "I have the perfect job for me right now" and would thank the universe for everything I alrea...

I'm done searching. I have an open G Center. I'm not here to find my purpose. What a Relief!! I used to blame my parents for my depression. I blamed them for not giving me enough guidance throughout my childhood. I felt like I'd made lots of mistakes in my life. I was pissed they didn't give me more wisdom to live by, that they didn't do anything about my drugs and craziness in high school. That they didn't communicate with me more about sex. Other than my dad telling me when to be home and the rules with boys, they really didn't stop me from doing much, they played the ignorant card. Granted I was a really good liar. But they knew, oh they knew that I was getting into trouble. My mind got a hold of me at a very young age, all my open centers but especially my open G center were deeply conditioned by society. I think the most detrimental conditioning I had was that I was supposed to hurry up and choose something to be really good at and stick with it. My boy...

I have an open solar plexus which means I am a non-emotional being. So in short, I can't trust any of my emotions. The reason I feel emotions is because I absorb and amplify others emotions. Okay, so maybe that's why I've felt like shutting myself off from the world. When it comes to negative emotions, okay, perhaps it's a good explanation of why I feel like an emotional being. However, when it comes to happiness, peace, joy, I want to own those. When I went hiking yesterday in my new backyard, the mountains of Laguna, I swore I found paradise. I was in a pure state of joy about my new home and environment. As a person with an open G center, I affirmed for myself that place is indeed everything. There was no one else around to persuade this emotions, it just was. Eckhart Tolle actually says an emotion is your body's reaction to your mind that joy is the one pure state you can rely on. I believe that what I was feeling was my own true joy.

I got a reading from John Martin on Monday and he told me some good news and bad news. The good news is that I'm here to be a Jedi Priestess Warrior! That sounds great, where do I sign up? The bad news is that I'm here to be a Jedi Priestess Warrior! Wow, what next? If I were a priestess warrior, I'd want to be Nitiri. Ra says "Manifestor's aren't here to know thyself. Generators are here to know themselves, Manifestors are here to know their impact ." Okay, I hear that and I've been exploring that question naturally but why have I spent my whole life trying to know myself? And I wouldn't say that my search has been in vain. I've finally come to a place of peace because of all my trial and error and search for self definition. If I hadn't been searching for myself, I don't think I'd be where I'm at now. I'm drawn to Human Design because it teaches me more about myself. I'm not sure what Ra means by the first part of th...

A dear Projector friend introduced me to Human Design the other day (2/5/2010) very non-nonchalantly. We were at her computer and she showed me my chart, we listened to the audio of Ra Uru Hu's definition of a Manifestor. It was interesting but I kind of shrugged it off as another one of those new age things, having no idea how much it would impact my life. Then I came home and began to get more curious. Something made me look deeper. It was when I read about what it meant to be a 6/2 that I really got into it. You see, I am 32 and in a state of retreat from the world, which corresponds exactly to the 6/2 profile. I have begun to be very hermitty, really not wanting to do much, get stimulated by much, not be out in the world where I'm sensitive to other people's negative energy. Most people out there are so stuck in the matrix, just playing the game, so wrapped up in meaningless pursuits, and so unaware of themselves and it's just not a comforting place for me to ...