Musings of a 6/2 Splenic Manifestor

"It is to face the collective fear of humanity that lies within the heart of every human’s DNA." 47.3 in detriment today!! Yikes - "A Self Oppression so energized it may prove irreversible and destructive." Oh how I know this gate so well. It's simultaneously the thorn in my foot and reason for existence. When I feel the weight of the world on my shoulders, I know it is this gate talking...no yelling at me "the world is an ugly place, people are nasty, I am bad, there is no hope". It tries to get the upper hand to make me give up on life, kneel down before it's power, and surrender to a mediocre existence trapped in the maia. Oh no, I will not bow down!! Luckily this gate is in an open center in my design, so it's not a constant pressure. But when the 47.3 does rear it's ugly head, I become physically unsettled, antsy, unsure of myself, not sure what to do or where to go, and not as trusting in people or the world. I tend to smoke...

I got a reading from John Martin on Monday and he told me some good news and bad news. The good news is that I'm here to be a Jedi Priestess Warrior! That sounds great, where do I sign up? The bad news is that I'm here to be a Jedi Priestess Warrior! Wow, what next? If I were a priestess warrior, I'd want to be Nitiri. Ra says "Manifestor's aren't here to know thyself. Generators are here to know themselves, Manifestors are here to know their impact ." Okay, I hear that and I've been exploring that question naturally but why have I spent my whole life trying to know myself? And I wouldn't say that my search has been in vain. I've finally come to a place of peace because of all my trial and error and search for self definition. If I hadn't been searching for myself, I don't think I'd be where I'm at now. I'm drawn to Human Design because it teaches me more about myself. I'm not sure what Ra means by the first part of th...