Musings of a 6/2 Splenic Manifestor

2 days after my 3 day silent retreat in Mount Shasta with my new teacher Devaji and the realization of what I really am is sinking into the heart of this being. His transmission of Truth is so firm, so powerful, unwavering and extremely transformative, no one can escape untouched. Sitting in the chair across from this fully awakened being while looking into his eyes, the student is drawn into a force field of consciousness so powerful that the busyness of the mind falls away. You may forget your name, what you came up there to ask and how to speak the words but none of that matters. That's not what you're there for. Your breath deepens and you are pulled into his vortex of peace. Once I ask him my question about the role of Shamanism and Non-Dualit y, his words penetrate straight through my heart and I forget them as soon as they are spoken. He conveys to me what I already knew deep inside. I needed to hear it from someone I respected. All phenomenon in the dream worlds of ...

How to put words to the most profound incredible experience of my life. I’m struggling but I want to try. Iboga has reconnected me with my soul, cleared out the demons of the mind and body, and I am no longer craving for substances. (update; this lasted only a few weeks except for ciggarettes which I have never smoked again). I feel better than I have since I can remember. It’s still working on me and I am having waves of realization. My first journey, among many other things, showed me the interconnectedness of all things. It was towards the end of the night about 10 hours into our flood and I opened my eyes to look out at the sky and trees, light was just beginning to illuminate the sky. Everything around me was imbued with the same awareness and divinity as the eyes looking out at it, My eyes. The eye of god was in everything I saw and I was also the eye of god. Reality bubbled over in a continuous outpouring of god’s creating. The trees and sky were breathing just as I was. We w...

I CHOOSE YOU patiently you wait loving me right here allowing me to be as I am tenderly giving where I am able to receive never expecting, never demanding I always sensed you were there through the pain and darkness watching and loving unconditionally revealing yourself slowly you call me deeper with each conscious breath and I begin to discover your mystery crumbling the facade of armor once set firmly around my heart this tortured soul breaks free splitting me wide open to the perfection of all that is now I see clearly while searching the world for true love you were there the whole time patiently waiting for me to turn around and see my SELF is what I seek I flutter back and land by my side so grateful because I finally found you I AM HOME