The worst time of my life

This time takes the cake for the most miserable time of my life. I don't know if I'm going through a dark night of the soul or if there is some entity in me that has taken over and has had control for a long long time. I contacted a doctor today to check me for parasites. Whatever this is, it has to end. Nobody should have to live like this and I know I am not meant to be this sad. I just got back from Taco Bell and I had 2 cups of coffee, neither of which did anything to make me feel any better. My story is ridiculous, I want to free myself from myself. I'm so confused about what to do. Is there anything to do? I may just need to surrender to this and let go, knowing it's really not up to me what happens to me. I have faith this is all for a reason, that I will get through the darkness to the other side. I am praying my butt off to my guides and God to help me get through this time. There's nothing to do, nowhere to go, nothing to get, and it feels like HELL!@@## I am in hell and I want out.

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