Musings of a 6/2 Splenic Manifestor

Hawaii Retreat, March 2016 - Day 5 of 10 There are 8 of us here from the Mt. Shasta group all staying together at Ruthie's beautiful property in Honoka'a, Big Island. We're here for the 10 day silent retreat with Devaji. Deva and his beautiful wife gifted me the plane ticket with their extra airline miles and Ruthie graciously offered the housing to me for free and it's like a dream come true. I wouldn't have been able to come otherwise because financially there's just enough to pay the bills right now. There are 5 of us staying in the bunk house which is a large 2 story building just across the driveway from the main house. The top floor is where we sleep. There's a screened large room with 6 single very comfy beds. It's beautifully designed with hardwood floors, Japanese Hawaiian decor, a full bathroom with stone tiled shower and sitting area and outdoor/indoor sitting area. There has been a lot of rain and it's been surprising cold for what my...

When one is on a Nutritional Balancing program, the body will go through something called retracing. The concept of retracing is that when our body starts to get everything it needs in the form of minerals, diet and detox protocols, it begins to heal itself. All the current and old issues in the body get addressed layer by layer. In retracing, the body will systematically go through the body and heal any old infections, injuries, physical and emotional traumas. However, in order for these things to be healed, they must first resurface, sometimes even stronger than the first time. This is a blog about the recent emotional retracing I just experienced. It has to do with my open emotional center and taking on the pain and suffering of the whole world. This concept of retracing is very similar to the concept I'm learning from my teacher, Devaji. In the spiritual enlightenment game, we call it burning. When we see an old pattern surface, by bearing witness to it with the light and ...

Written after our meeting yesterday...and it happens to be Valentines day. Your Pure love has come to carry me home it's a gift from heaven a cradle from the divine the missing piece i didn't even know i needed you penetrate deeper this time with the gaze of eternity something softens allowing currents of warmth and tenderness to slowly melt this fortress of protection this pure love never known before shatters the mind in our silence, I begin to feel you and this love you have for me not from something i did or what i've said or what i can do for you you really do Love me True the trust grows a knowing deep inside whispers lean in sweet girl into this one True thing fall in my Love and discover your SELF the love which never left with your unconditional Love to guide the way freedom is assured Thank you Devaji

Pluto is Squaring my Nodes exactly today and although I'm familiar with this feeling of annihilation, it's never easy. This is Pluto's 3rd pass over my natal Sun, Pluto and North Node. (Pluto at 15° Capricorn). Pluto is the planet of death and rebirth, he shows no mercy in his relentless motivation to transform us on a deep soul level. He takes away what seems important in order to show us what really matters. If the grasp on anything is too tight, he will rip it out of your hands. Everything feels like it's crumbling. "Only if we venture repeatedly through zones of annihilation can our contact with Divine Being, which is beyond annihilation, become firm and stable." ~ Karlfried Graf von Durkheim On my knees once again, fully wiped out, defeated. I've been KO'd by Pluto again and all I can do is surrender and patiently wait for this contraction wave to pass. Today it feels like I'll never get better, that this adrenal fatigue will never heal a...

Meeting my new beloved teacher Devaji and moving to Mt. Shasta all fell into place very auspiciously, it was true Destiny. It was also a good example of what it means to wait for the energy to initiate as a Manifestor and how splenic/ego authority works. When I wait for the energy, everything falls into place effortlessly and the change is fun. Pluto in Cap squaring my natal Rahu/Ketu conjunct Uranus in Aries - also I have Rahu/Pluto/Sun all around 15° Libra which was squaring Pluto ***T ransiting Pluto (death, rebirth and transformation) in Capricorn (my 6th house) was Squaring my natal Ketu or south node which represents my past lives. In addition Uranus  (planet of sudden change and enlightenment)   was opposite my Sun/Rahu/Pluto within 2 degrees. I found this information about it on an school of evolutionary astrology forum from Deva. " In the case of Pluto square the nodal axis the Soul has not fully developed the lessons reflected b y either of the nodes and so has...

The silence and Satsangs with Devaji are intense. We have 2 Satsangs per day, one in the morning and one in the evening. We sit in silence for 75 minutes before the morning session and 50 min before the evening session.  At first the silence pulled me in so deep and I was shown so clearly how everything this character goes through is happening in a background of stillness. For the first time, while this body was going through a big detox and felt extremely fatigued, I was able to recognize and find relief in that which is never touched by whatever the body is going through. Even though I felt like shit physically and mentally, sinking into the stillness brought gaps of extreme peace. What a gift! After day 5 the fatigue lifted. One thing Deva talks about often is that everything is being orchestrated perfectly for our awakening. I'm experiencing this more and more.  During one meditation around Day 6 it felt like a mini Ayahuasca journey where the b...

You Are... pure vibrant potential radiating throughout everyone and everything originating at your own heart Can you feel yourself? You Are... closer than your own breath more intimate than the feeling of your body and you've never even for a second left yourself You Are... everywhere, every when and everything you've never died and never were born you've always been right here, right now weaving the fabric of your own universe with threads made from LOVE You are... this vast open space empty, silent, still yet full of mystery and wordless beauty You silently watch your life unfold enjoying every single second of your very own creation no matter how dark or chaotic it may seem Silly you.. Why did you forget yourself, contracting into a tiny little person who suffers, desires and craves things that come and go? Oh yes, you wanted to play the game of life that you may experience every single thing there is to experience dark and li...