Monday, June 11, 2012

Gate 47 - The THORN in our FOOT

47.3 in detriment today!! Yikes - "A Self Oppression so energized it may prove irreversible and destructive." Oh how I know this gate so well. It's simultaneously the thorn in my foot and reason for existence. When I feel the weight of the world on my shoulders, I know it is this gate yelling at me "the world is an ugly place, people are nasty, I am bad, there is no hope". It tries to get the upper hand to make me give up on life, kneel down before it's power, and surrender to a mediocre existence trapped in the maia. Oh no, I will not bow down!!

Luckily this gate is in an open center in my design, so it's not a constant pressure. But when the 47.3 does rear it's ugly head, I become physically unsettled, antsy, unsure of myself, not sure what to do or where to go, and not as trusting in people or the world. I tend to smoke more pot, or drink more coffee, eat sweets, indulging in the things that give me immediate relief from the pressure ... but not necessarily a good idea for the long term health of my body. And then the mind likes to use these activities as more floats for it's self- Opression parade. It then tells me things like, "You have horrible willpower, you are hurting your body, you'll never quit coffee, might as well just in-duldge because there's no meaning to life anyways!!" Oh it can be so serious, a huge varmint in the cage that is my mind.

To pass through this gate is to contribute to the healing of all of humanity, past present and future. The accumulated fear, wounds, and scars of our ancestors are held deep within the script of this gate in what scientists are calling our "junk" DNA. 

The challenge in these moments of confusion and darkness, these times in my life where there is a heavy grief of the whole world strapped to my back weighing me down, coupled with a conversation in my head about my species and all of it's horrible insidious darkness.. In a nutshell, it says that I suck, my friends and family suck and life sucks...sometimes, once in awhile during this ambush, my body just STOPs and instead of grabbing for something or acting on my thoughts, I just sit down and watch (52.2- Keeping Still Mountain)....not always an easy task...but when I have been able to do this, breathing awareness into my body, quieting my mind, settling into stillness...I feel my heart beating, my stomach rising and falling, and the attention moves from my busy mind to my body and back again, there is a reminder that under the turbulent surface all is quiet and calm...from this place of stillness, there is a foundation where I can really see the mind and it's antics. I can watch all the thoughts, sounds, sensations, feelings and urges, all begin to arise and fall within the safety net of a much larger and wiser perspective. I remember that this busy mind isn't actually who I am at all and that brings peace.

There is a sensation that I am pulling back the veiled curtain of my dominant ego and I peer into the simple, quiet, constant truth of my self. I begin to see the inaccuracy of the mind's judgments...they go from at one point feeling very true and very heavy on the body to feeling like just a little thorn in my foot that I just need to pluck when it comes around. The story loses it's weight and becomes just that, a story.

Through settling into witness consciousness I am able to sit back and actually laugh at myself, my mind becomes this hilarious overly-dramatic actress in the play of this character we call "Trista"'s  life. I pull back and see that these thoughts aren't even mine, they're just coming and going with everything else including my body sensations. None of these statements about the world are actually true all the time, and most importantly, none of them have any validity to tell me what is going on in this moment that is true. And this question, what is true?,  is what I can look at when I'm quiet. Each time I do this process, I am training my mind to give these oppressive thoughts less invitation to the party in my head. And each time, I am transforming a dense frequency into a more harmonious one in my body, bringing back a sense of balance and love.

Even though 47.3 can be a real bitch, without it I would have never started out on the quest for truth. I could say it gives my life meaning and purpose. Reading The Gift and the Siddhi of this Gene Key 47 - by Richard Rudd, has kept my sails afloat through many a dark nights- the Siddhi is called Transfiguration and it says - "The force of transmutation strips you emotionally and mentally to such an extent that it eventually reaches down into the physical matter of your body. The power of the myth then takes over and the very cells of your body begin to transmute into the pure light frequencies from which they are made." What this means to me is that by learning to face my fears, which are actually the fears of all of humanity, by staring this paper tiger directly in it's eyes, I can become the superhero I was born to be and I can contribute to raising the vibration of the entire universe. The ambitious gate 54.2 in my design calls me out to embrace the daunting challenge of the oppressive 47 collective consciousness, calling me to climb the ladder of the material and spiritual world to see if it is truly possible to walk through the gates of oppression and live out the full potential of this design. If this body/mind were a vehicle, I'd want to take this baby for a spin and see what she can really do. Who knows what's possible on the other side when we dive into the darkness? What I do know is that this "me" is driven to seek and find the divine truth within myself.

Gate 47.3 is the thorn of humanity and in this delicate and wonderful time of chaos, confusion and great awakenings on this planet, we must constantly ask ourselves at each moment, Am I buying into the false propaganda that I must live in fear or am I choosing this moment to live in gratitude and joy? This choice is the determining factor in the fate of our species.

 "Divine Grace can only touch those who work through the 47th Siddhi because these individuals have to take on the collective karma of the whole of humanity." (Gene Key 47 - Richard Rudd)