Dark Night of the Soul

There's nowhere to go from here

but down

deeper into the well

where I'm told
the treasure lies 

it's walls are jagged and rough

there's no where to grab on

the air is thick with death and decay

I can barely breathe.
It hurts.
feels like hell

____

A soft whisper in the background says

stop thrashing, precious child
relax and breathe

come deeper still my love
fall into me

I'm not finished with you yet.
_____

She releases me

after what seems like eternity

gasping the glorious fresh air

once again
grateful to be alive

the familiar colors and textures of 

the dense world I've tolerated

become brighter, friendlier
and more inviting

i cautiously welcome
this reprieve from the grip
of death
and yet something knows that around
the corner looms the next round
of annihilation
____

I'd like to think that with each plunge

there's a little more grace
a little less thrashing

but perhaps that's not true at all

perhaps she's teaching me to let go

and to be messy again

to get comfortable with the discomfort
of feeling everything

I know in my heart of hearts
I am being shown
the way to re-discover
the gems which I seemed to have lost
unshakeable TRUTH
unconditional LOVE
and true everlasting PEACE

My soul asked for this

The darkness pulls me in again and again
heels dug deep
willingly

to humble this raging ego

and rip this heart open wide

so that I may live like I was born to live...

Fearless, Wild, and Free!