Friday, February 26, 2010

Open Head/Ajna Center and Knowing Myself

I got a reading from John Martin on Monday and he told me some good news and bad news. The good news is that I'm here to be a Jedi Priestess Warrior! That sounds great, where do I sign up? The bad news is that I'm here to be a Jedi Priestess Warrior! Wow, what next?

If I were a priestess warrior, I'd want to be Nitiri.

Ra says "Manifestor's aren't here to know thyself. Generators are here to know themselves, Manifestors are here to know their impact." Okay, I hear that and I've been exploring that question naturally but why have I spent my whole life trying to know myself? And I wouldn't say that my search has been in vain. I've finally come to a place of peace because of all my trial and error and search for self definition. If I hadn't been searching for myself, I don't think I'd be where I'm at now.

I'm drawn to Human Design because it teaches me more about myself. I'm not sure what Ra means by the first part of that statement. However, what's ironic is that in my search for myself, what I like, dislike, what I'm passionate about, what kind of work I want to do, I came up with this statement, "I want to do work that has a positive impact on the environment" I've been using that word, IMPACT, and as a Manifestor that's what I'm here to do, figure out who and what I have an impact on. And I'd prefer it to have something to do with keeping pristine nature around for as long as possible.

My open head center makes sense, it's the center that is a mental pressure center to question and figure it all out. Yep, that's me to a T. Mostly I've questioned human behavior, including my own. Why do I feel like this, why do people act the way they do, what's the meaning of life, what are relationships about, how do I have healthy relationships given who I am. And then my questions of purpose, who am I, why am I here? what am I supposed to be doing to have an impact on the world? However, I believe those questions of purpose have more to do with the open G Center. But they're all related. It's all been about me trying to know myself.

John says "I'm not to here to answer these questions because they're not mine." He advises for an open head center that my mantra be "Hey, I don't know, they're not my questions." and (with the open Ajna) "I don't care".

According to Kauai John, my open Ajna means "I have no consistent way of processing information. I don't have a fixed way of dealing with information. I think I need to know what I'm talking about. I don't think the same way twice ever. I'm here to be uncertain and not care about what happens. I'm here to be uncertain about my life."

It's true, I've never been certain about much except for the fact that I'm uncertain about many things. My whole life I've been searching for people who inspire me, who can be my role models of how to live life. My quest took me to the far ends of the earth and back. I've studied how people think and live with the intention of keeping morsels of wisdom from each one, slowly and carefully crafting my own way of living. I've been gathering my tools.

And I'm happy to say that at the ripe young age of 32, I feel like I've come to a place of comfort and peace about the way I live, for the most part. But in no way do I feel inclined to impact others to live the way I live. Not yet at least.

In this phase of my life, I'd rather not engage with the world than interact with a planet full of people who are asleep. I feel extra sensitive to other people's energy right now, perhaps I'm susceptible to others confusion and pain (as my open Solar Plexus says I am). What really makes me mad right now is that most people I meet out there are closed off to possibilities. I meet so much resistance because most people don't believe they can have what they want. I do. I'm getting it now.

And this is where my open head center has benefited me tremendously because I've been drawn to learn about things that open my mind like Abraham and Esther Hicks the Vortex, Human Design, The Law of Attraction, take a Landmark Forum seminar, practice things like meditation and buddhism, yoga, tai chi, taekwondo, Krav Maga, and explore new ideas, religions, ways of life. In that I'm very thankful for my open head.

Until next time, I'll be off getting to know myself.